The Unknown (New Poem 12/23/17)


As I take my first step
In the direction that I will come to find 
Is north
The thought dawns on me
That the journey has just begun

It is unclear 
What I will learn
On this adventure
Somehow, it always seems to surprise me
How I come back changed

The setting is the same
The people are the same 
But I come back different
I find myself going through the motions 
But I know this is not where I belong; anymore.

What was once comforting and nurturing
Has become stifling
I find it hard to fall back into a routine
I find myself searching for purpose
I’m searching for some type of clarity

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to pursue it 
Or if it is supposed to happen in time 
I’m not sure how much longer I can wait 
The walls are closing in 
I feel my life slipping from my grasp. 

I reach out, in the hopes I will 
Somehow catch my purpose
As if it is manifested in thin air
And that I could somehow reach out and
Shape it to my will

I’m trying to climb out of the mess 
That I have left myself
I really have no one else to blame 
I’ve run out of excuses
But I need direction

Can someone tell me it’s going to be okay? 
I’m not sure how much longer I can endure it.
Will lady luck fall in my favor at the appropriate time?
Or will I continue to miss the next great opportunity 
Every single time.

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