GraceMarie's Adventure Blog

****************************** FROM 9/30/2018 ****************************** If the last few months have taught me anything, it's that I have made mistakes in my life. There's something about filling out endless pages of background information about myself that has elicited this feeling of reflection. To be more precise, that I have been too quick to judge or write off people in my life. I don't take betrayal lightly. I also do not like my character being attacked. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that there are multiple ways to handle a situation. Along this journey of discovery, I have lost many friends that I thought were going to be life long friends. While I don't regret any of my decisions, I take these unfortunate situations as learning experiences. I've found that forgiveness is not a lost cause. You can in fact forgive someone for wronging you, without giving them permission to hurt you again. Yes, when you forgive someone, you open yours...

I've formulated, imagined, and rehearsed what I would say to you if I were to get the chance. I'm sure the preparation would go straight out of the window if I were to actually be given the opportunity. What would your reaction be? Would be it be of surprise? Would it be relief? Would it be complete understanding? Would you reciprocate the feeling? How do you know if what you're saying are the right words? Is there even such a thing as the right words?

I am currently finishing up my 4th week on my new squad in the South Mountain Precinct. I successfully finished FTO, and was not kept on for longer for additional training-yay! I still have a lot to learn, but I am a full fledged solo capable police officer for the Phoenix Police Department. This journey has not been easy. It's been frustrating at times, it's made me laugh until my eyes tear up, it's made me cry, it's broken my heart, challenged my understanding, and it's introduced me to some of the best people I have ever known. I love this job and I love the people this job has brought me to. Time is flying by, and before you know it, it'll be April and I'll be off probation. I'm having fun and I'm continuously learning, and that's all you can ask for right? On another note, in the middle of August, I got to travel to Banff, Canada. Wow, it was absolutely incredible.  I will definitely be making a post about my trip there and sug...

Our dating culture is so impersonal. Let's be honest with ourselves, it's all about hooking up and not having any commitments whatsoever.  It's not about getting to know people. It's not about finding a life partner. It's about swiping "right", and judging people based on their looks not their personality or intellectual compatibility. Is there even such a thing as a fresh of breath air then? Does that guy even exist??  I haven't seen him.   

In this big world, it can seem at times that our lives are insignificant. It can feel lonely. It can feel suffocating. It can seem like the whole world is against you. We can lose people we love. We can lose people that only made a short appearance in our lives. But just because they're gone, doesn't mean that we need to go with them. Let me tell you this: It's going to be okay. No matter what you're dealing with, it's going to be okay. It may not be okay at first, it may take a really long time. But, just know that you're not alone. You're never alone. If you ever need to talk, there will always be someone who will listen. Find that person, and make sure that you keep them close. We all go through hard times, and difficult situations. But I can guarantee you, that your life is worth living. I'm no expert and honestly have no right to be telling other people that it is going to be okay, but I just know deep down in my heart that everything is...

How do you tell someone that they deserve better? Is that even possible? Or is that something that they need to figure out for themselves? How do you tell someone that they're with the wrong person? That they aren't themselves around that person? That they deserve to be put first. To be sought after. To be loved. How do you tell someone that they belong with someone so much better? That they belong with you. That you're there for them. That you will put them first. That you'll be partners and you'll figure things out together. How do you tell someone that they belong with you. Or should you?

It's dark, and I don't know where I am anymore. It's getting hard to breathe. I know that I need to get out. I turn around, and still my vision is unclear. I'm trying to choke out the words, trying to yell out for help. My throat burns, my lips go dry. I'm mouthing the words but nothing is coming out. I start to wonder if help is near. What else can I do? I'm going to get stuck in here.  The air is getting thinner. The smoke is overwhelming. I can't breathe. I'm losing my focus. I'm looking for an exit. I'm going in circles. My vision is gone. My lungs are screaming. Wouldn't it just be easier to lay and wait for help here? I think I could fall asleep right here.  Maybe I'll try again, when the smoke clears. 

We live in a world that we share with 7.53 billion people.  By my estimation...…… that's a shit ton. Yet, I find that this world has proven to be smaller than we think.  It's all about our connections. Connections to each other, to businesses, to that exciting new technology. Every connection that we develop, makes this big old world, just a little bit smaller.  To that point, reputation is what makes or breaks you. Let's be honest, we aren't going to introduce one friend to another friend if they're a shitty friend. We aren't going to boast about our co-worker to someone if they're a shitty co-worker. Let's go even a step further and say, we aren't going to introduce our single friends to another potential single friend, if they're shitty at relationships. Now, I'm not saying that we should fabricate who we are. I'm not saying that at all. But, we live in a technologically savvy society where everyone can see what we...

I'm back. Clearly, I've taken a long hiatus from this blog. I truly did mean to continue to post. But as always, life has other plans. And we have to roll with the punches.  I just got a Facebook memory the other day. It was a picture of my dad and I, standing at the southern terminus of the Pacific Crest Trail. That seems like it was so long ago.  Well, since then a lot has changed in my life. I started the police academy at the end of October and then graduated on the 21st of March. I am currently three weeks into Field Training. It's terrifying, yet exhilarating. There are some days I am so frustrated because I am not learning fast enough. There are other days, I'm so amped up because of the calls for service we answered. It's a rollercoaster, but I am so excited to continue to learn.  In just this short amount of time, I know this is the right path for me. I'm just hoping to continue to learn as much as I can about this job. And hope...

One of my teachers from high school, just announced on Facebook that he has decided to stop treatment for his cancer. He has been fighting this particular battle for over two years. I cannot begin to imagine what he and his family is currently going through. I know that it is an incredibly difficult journey. We lost my grandma to lung cancer a few years back and it was heartbreaking watching her go through treatments. Her health deteriorated and before we knew it, she was gone. I was getting that phone call, to plan to come home for a few days so we could attend the memorial. I think it's easy to forget that we have expiration dates. Some sooner than others. We are so privileged to live the lives that we do. Let's not take any day for granted. Be spontaneous. Hold tight to the ones that you love. Don't be afraid of falling, because you will. Don't try and fit into a perfect little box, that tells you how to live your life. Be adventurous. If you're not happy wit...